Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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