What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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