god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
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Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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