He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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