all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize