the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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