You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize