you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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