No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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