If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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