sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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