You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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