and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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