I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize