Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize