i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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