whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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