I'm going to jail i love you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize