We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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