Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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