I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize