Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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