No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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