finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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