This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize