I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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