My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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