im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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