It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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