It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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