So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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