hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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