when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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