I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize