Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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