He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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