Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize