I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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