he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize