hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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