New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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