Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize