Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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