so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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