none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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