last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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