i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize