We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize