brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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