We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
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Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
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First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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